Antidote

I started to ponder the idea that maybe you're the antidote. And yet perhaps you're just another poison that lingers on my skin, causing my fingertips to yearn for your warm hands to take a hold of mine just one more time. All I know is that I'm starting to forget the way my skin ached and seemed to rot in all the places he touched, and I'm starting to remember why I meant it when I said that I would wait for you forever.

The lyrics sound in my ears and I think about how you called it "our song"

But if it was really our song it would be hard to listen to it

Because everything that reminds me of you I tend to shove down and bury out of guilt.

And then I think maybe it was just that the song reminded you of me.

And I start to ponder the idea that maybe I was your song,

But you just weren't mine.

If I asked you to catch me before I fell, I’d be asking too much. If I asked for you to help me up, I’d just be a fool. Yet when I asked for nothing, you got angry. You said it was OK to come to you, so I tried. But I was terrified! How could you not see that? I told you time and time again that promises meant nothing to me. You asked if I ever thought “we will leave you.” I replied, “won’t you?" You stopped me there and promised that nothing would come between us, that we would always be that close. But when I finally learned to believe in that promise, once I finally learned to trust you, you took that one thing away from me. You were the first person I trusted that much… Don’t you feel the wall that’s been placed between us? Or do you even care that we will never be the same, that I can’t ever put my trust in you again?