Missing the obsession of scribbling my own name.
Missing to impress myself
Missing all the times worrying about me problems
Now I’m not having me problems because I’m always thinking about us.
I missed it all.
Before the pain. The heartbreak.
I saw how happy I was before the pain.
Innocently in love and smitten to hear your voice and waiting to get your response
While you’re laying up with your “friend”
I thought you were alone
I wished you were alone
What happened to loving me, marrying me, having a future?
But you’re selfish
Forcing yourself to love me to save yourself
Your senseless murmurs of love were hollow as my college wallet
To even think that I was able to spend what I had from my $8.25/hour on you
I gave my all
And what you gave me… you call that love.
Helping me to move in and out home, friends do that
Because they care
You helped and…
My second love and the first one to hit.
Well shoot I should’ve quit.
I wasn’t good enough for you, but someone you called a friend
Was enough, enough, enoouuugghh
I had enough of loving someone to love me
Loving someone that doesn’t love me
Loving someone that wants a fetish
Loving someone that wants the cake and eat it
Loving someone that does not value my heart and mind, what I do, I find interesting, I live for!
I need to love me. Loving you was enough and I had enough of it.
I wish I had all that time to indulge in myself.
Let men beg for my attention.
Treasure myself in high esteem like a Beyoncé back up dancer
Have life in myself like God’s breathe
I want to breathe freedom like the fresh oxygen in a new babe’s lungs
Hold me and carry me ever so gracefully in your arms when I claim victory
As I entwine my limbs around your muscular figure
But does it cost the tears and ache?
Why is it so hard to even chase after him?
Why does it hurt, freedom?
I would even die for you if I have to, freedom.
Freedom, kiss me
Kiss me now.