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An Ode from My Bathroom Floor

I'm sorry that this is the only way I could love you, and I wish my tiles were warmer.

And I wish I could love deeper than the width of my surfaces, longer than the span of you brushing your teeth, warmer than the tiles. I stutter a lot because you are so goddamn beautiful. 

I often think of the times you'd come around...

And danced your way with me in socks filled with tiny toes

Painting a memory of innocence with the centre soles of your body

We'd mascaraed with bubble baths and

You covered me in lavender

You softened me like baby powder

And whenever you'd fall,

You did only so with laughter that was so uncontrollable

The creases of my tiles curved into a smile. The sink still doesn't believe me but I swear on all my four corners it happened 

You see, I held you in star dust

Whispered you towards blossoming

Destined you joyful

Swore you into my every good morning

My every good night.

... It didn't take long

Until the only reason you came around anymore

Was to feel solitude of your cheek against my chest

I was so trapped to know I could only offer my skin

To comfort your racing heart and shaking cries

Screaming at your father

Who sent your knees to buckle at my floor a hundred times, please trust me I fucking counted  

Or maybe it was your boyfriend tonight?

What did he do on the side I couldn’t see?

I protected you on nights the locks on the doors didn't work

You crawled into me and the fear you were soaked in killed me to be incapable of washing away

Even though the bath is always right there, this sadness is bubble proof

The presence of your broken body

and torn out veins

Became so frequent that I began praying, saying

God please don't make them send her here again — Please, I beg of you 

make it stop, 

keep her away.

I felt every tear you shed on me and I think some of them are still drying up on the surface of my heart

And if I hold the only peace you ever felt,

please use me to protect you

From whatever goes on the other side of that old cedar door

That has been slammed against me more times I can't say I'm proud to have felt

My head is filled with echoes

And muffled shrieks of “I goddamn miss you”

They have damaged our memories with gashed smiles and bloody fists

A girl has been stolen from me

Because all I am now to her 

Is the bathroom floor she cries to dark nights upon. 

haley V
haley V

All things I have experienced ive used art and poetry to overcome them. This world is ginormous, words and ideas will change it. This is why I speak. This is why I hope. I dream. Motivational speaking very soon, and many books to come! 🌞

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An Ode from My Bathroom Floor
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