An Apology to My Child Heart

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting other people's opinions of you take over your joy for life. I'm sorry for quieting your heart. I'm sorry for hushing you, for trying to make you soft and acceptable. I'm sorry for making you feel ashamed of your body. I'm sorry for the diets, for constantly tugging at your tummy, wishing it all away. I'm sorry for not letting you explode into sunbeams whenever you saw something beautiful. I'm sorry for making you feel like your joy for life was something that needed to be put away so that you could be cool and fit in. I'm sorry for letting others silence you. I'm sorry for making you think less of yourself because of your lack of a boyfriend. They could never handle you anyway. They were never meant to. I'm sorry for the anger and the mental abuse I put you through. I'm sorry for making you doubt your love and your power. I'm sorry for not removing you from harmful and abusive relationships and situations. I'm sorry for comparing you and your talents to other people's instead of just letting you thrive in your own time. You deserved more. Please come back and scream to the world your fullness. Let me love you the way you were meant to be. Come play with me again. Come run and jump and dance and live again. I can't wait to meet you after all these years. You are beautiful, and your energy is contagious. Thank you for loving me as best as I would let you even in the midst of the constant shaming. I love your heart, little girl. You've done so well. Thank you for coming so far with me. Let's go back to dancing barefoot in the grass with sun and wind blowing through our hair. We'll conquer the world with our love yet.