Alone by Eric Trules
i live alone
it's taken me five years to fill up the closet
since my girlfriend moved out that many years ago
it's a big closet
it's full now
i don't think there's room anymore for anyone else
i get up every morning at 7:30
i think it's a good idea to get up early
especially when you don't have to
you could get lazy
or unproductive
especially in California
where the weather's so seductive
and there's always so many people just sitting around
playing tennis or whatever they feel like
i try to eat breakfast every day by 10 o'clock
brown rice cream mixed with oat bran
bananas, honey, cinnamon, and a little strawberry guava juice
it's really very healthy
and it's delicious
and it's good for my digestion too
i buy about five or six bananas a week
not more
cause they get brown and rotten
and then i have to eat them anyway
cause i don't believe in wasting food
and not less
cause then i won't have enough for breakfast every day
i have to admit though
i like my bananas on the green side
you know
when they're still a little hard
and they have that taste that's...
perfect
more like teenage bananas
than a kid banana or a grown up
i run my business out of my home
a small mail order business
i sell Hollywood personnel directories
who's working where at which company in TV and film
it's a very lucrative business
people keep getting fired by one company
and rehired by another one
i do everything myself
research, xeroxing, collating
binding, mailing
and even the advertising
i don't like telling people how to do something for me
when i can do it better myself
i try to keep everything nearby
within a one block radius
i do my billing and receiving out of American mail box
about 11 houses away on one corner
and then i go to the bank
about a block and a half in the other direction
basically my business is collecting checks on one corner
and depositing them on the other
after the bank i do my xeroxing at marvin's print shop
the cheapest place in town
and then if i'm out of milk or butter or bananas or anything
i can just go across the street to the lucky's
it's a great place if you ask me
although i was sorry when they started closing at midnight again
after they tried staying open 24 hours
i guess it didn't pay
and you have to keep up with the competition
even in my business
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
so the other day i'm at home
which is where i usually am
and a friend comes by and knocks on the door about… 4:36
she was in the neighborhood and just stopped by
i was surprised she hadn't called first
i mean you're supposed to do that in LA
but i have to admit
i was glad to see her anyway
she wasn't my girlfriend or anything
i told you i haven't had one of those in five
no...almost six years
but Brenda was pretty
and that's my bottom line for visitors
anyway she just knocked on my door
and i had to stop what i was doing
i was a little disoriented at first
but after we were talking through the screen door for about five minutes
i realized i should invite her in
so i did
after about another 25 minutes of small talk
i told her i had to get back to work
but she said
“i have a free pass to a movie
do you want to go?”
“what movie?” i said
she said, “little dorrit.”
“what's that?” i said
she said it was an obscure Charles Dickens book made into a six hour film
“oh nooo, that's too long.”
“come on, you old stick in the mud
we don't have to stay for the whole thing
we can just go to part one”
"stick in the mud?"
well
i must have agreed by default
because before i knew it
i had my coat on and was out the door
i got as far as the sidewalk
before i realized i hadn't put on my answering machine
i ran back in
and met her at her car
a very nice brown Toyota Cressida
“37 miles a gallon”
and we took off to the west side pavilion
we got there in plenty of time
almost half an hour early
Brenda went up to get the tickets
but when she came back she didn't look too happy
“they said this was a special screening
and that my passes weren't any good.”
i wasn't too happy either but
i reached for my wallet to dig up the mandatory six bucks
oh shit
it wasn't there
i reached around in all my other pockets
slapping myself everywhere
“ohhhh no
i left it on the kitchen table
under that huge pile of phone messages”
Brenda said “don’t worry, be happy
i’ll pay for you”
“no, no, i’ll write you a check”
but then i realized i hadn’t brought my checkbook either
which was in my bag on the chair right near the font door
“wait a minute,” i said
running down the escalator
“i’ll get some cash from an ATM machine across the street
“we still have seven minutes
i’ll be right back”
i ran down the street like a madman
there was a security pacific right where i was positive there was a B of A
I bolted into a cash/video/check cashing drug store
but i guess i scared the guy
because he said he couldn’t help me without proper identification
i ran back across the street into the mall
but i ended up in the happy hour of some fancy red and white fish bar
i looked around and smelled all the fresh fish cooking
and saw the biggest jumbo shrimp I’d ever seen in my life
i realized i hadn’t eaten dinner
and with my hypoglycemia
i might pass put during even the first part of little dorrit
i ran back up the escalator
bumping into a couple of teenagers holding hands
i could overhear them making a snide comment about the way i was dressed
i looked at my watch
it was 7:02
and there was Brenda waiting at theatre 12 for me
waving the two tickets at me and telling me to “hurry up”
i said I was hurrying
but maybe it was too late
because “i really hate missing the beginning of movies and the title sequence”
“they’re still showing coming attractions and i already saved us two seats”
she was right and we went in and sat down
i was ok for a minute until i realized
i didn’t have my popcorn
and i started worry about passing out again
but just then Brenda reached over
and deposited a medium size popcorn in my lap
with salt, napkins and extra butter
i almost smiled
Brenda was ok
the movie started out pretty good for Dickens
but after about 20 minutes i started to doze off
you see i think i have a bad case of narcolepsy
as soon as i relax anywhere that's not work
i fall asleep
they say it's stress related
anyway i lost track of the plot
and when i woke up
i couldn't recognize any of the characters from before
it was the way Dickens wrote
got paid by the word
too many characters
pretty soon i was in agony
i kept falling asleep and waking up
the movie never ended
i thought i was there for days
it was torture
Brenda was all curled up in her seat like Christmas morning
i think i could of had a heart attack and she wouldn't have noticed
finally i couldn't take it anymore
i picked up my coat and walked out of the theater
the clock in the lobby said it was only 8:10
and the movie was on 'til 9:30
was this the two-parted double feature, or what?
i tried walking around the mall
but it was no good
window shopping makes me sick
i just wanted to go home
but i was trapped
no money
no car
no check book
no ATM card
this was unbelievable
i never left home without it
i never went out of the house without all of these things
i never went anywhere in any one else's car
i drove myself
i took myself everywhere
i even parked my car facing out so i could make a quick getaway
it was her fault
Brenda's fault
she had bamboozled me
caught me in a moment of weakness
got me out of the house without
planning to go out
it was inconceivable
impossible
no....
it was my fault
i had let her take me
never again
this was hell
living hell
i was caught riding up and down
up and down
escalators
fluorescent lighting
piped in Andre Kostolanos Christmas music
i had to get out
but what about Brenda
what would she think?
she would wonder where i was
what was wrong
maybe i was sick in the bathroom
maybe i had a heart attack
she would look for me after the movie
and i better be there
or if i started walking home she’d probably drive right past me
and then i’d get mugged or raped or kidnapped or something really gory
helll
bloody fucking
HELLLLLLLLLLLLL
-------------
uhhhh
i was beat
i rode back up the escalator
and showed my stub to the usher
he smiled politely and said
“theater 12
next show in 15 minutes”
i lurked back into the theater
and took my seat next to Brenda
the movie ended in the same room it began
beckoning us
"and be sure to see Part two
from little dorrit's point of view"
the lights came up
and Brenda had two little tears in the corners of her eyes
i had a raging dragon in my bowels
but it had already been slain
“where did you go?”
“oh, i had to go the bathroom”
ooh, that was fantastic, wasn’t it?”
“listen, Brenda
i'm not feeling so well
i have to go home right way”
“ohhh, that's too bad
‘cause they have a really nice restaurant downstairs
with the biggest jumbo shrimp in LA
“nooo
i don't think so
another time”
“ok
i'll give you a rain check”
“good
can we go home now?”
“sure
just tell me you had a good time
and you're glad i stopped by
and took you out”
“i'm very glad, brenda
we'll have to do it again sometime”
----
Brenda took me home
and when i didn't invite her in
she kissed me goodnight
and wished me a merry Christmas
i watched her drive off
and walked up my front path
wiping her kiss off my face
i opened my front door
and chained myself in
i looked around and spotted my brown, leather wallet
under the pile of phone messages
near my basket of bananas on the kitchen table
i took a deep breath and threw myself on my favorite Queen Anne couch
i stared up at the ceiling
and relished the absolute perfect purr of my space heater wall unit
everything felt right
for the first time in hours
i took another deep breath
and let the air form into a happy hum on the exhale
hmmmmmmm
now this is my idea
of a good time
About the Creator
Eric Trules
USC Theater Professor, Travel Podcaster, HuffPost Blogger, Fulbright Scholar
Former modern dancer, documentary filmmaker, poet, theater director and producer, solo performer, solo performer, and clown
See more here: http://erictrules.com
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