Late at night
sometimes things come to me in flashes,
offering me a way into my subconscious.
As my eyes get heavy
and sleep overtakes me
my mind begins to flash away
to somewhere far from here.
Flash away.
I stare at a young woman sitting in a field adorned with
the vibrant petals of flowers
in shades of pink and gold.
She picks the petals as tears stream down her face
as the weight of conflicting love takes its toll.
Flash away.
The woman sits alone in her secluded paradise
looking out onto the water
light glistening off its surface.
Cross legged she sits
with a book in her hand
and a pen in the other.
Desperately she tries to share the thoughts
torturing her mind
through the union of parchment and pen.
Flash away.
The woman is now stumbling down the long empty streets
tears streaming down her face.
A sob of heartbreak occasionally escaping her liquor laced lips.
Desperate for anything
to relieve her from her inner turmoil
as she wonders why she wasn't good enough.
Flash away.
The woman sits with her arms wrapped around her knees.
Staring into the nothingness.
Begging for the compulsions to fade from her poisoned mind
whispering to her to just give in
to its toxic hidden desire.
Flash away.
In the early morning hours
I stir from my slumber
tears already forming before
my eyes begin to open.
The glimpse into the repressed memories
I have tried to keep hidden
has brought with it a wave of emotions.
As I sit up in bed
I wonder if this is all life will ever be.
A series of sadness and suffering.
Time and time again it has come back to this.
Where I remain stuck, as the sadness has become almost comfortable.
With the saddest thing of it all being
I no longer know if happiness is possible for me.
The sadness has become so ingrained and entrenched
Within what is left of my fractured soul
I do not know what I would be
without it.
After the dust settles
What will there be left of me?
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