Afloat

There once was a woman and a man. The woman loved the man fierce, and he loved her too. Up until a point. He left behind everything when he mentioned that he no longer was in love with her, he mentioned he was no longer happy.

And her? She had depression, she had sever cases of so many different words were scribbled on paper to try and describe how her mind worked and how her reactions weren't hers. How the reactions she offered were no longer from her willing brain.

They were meant to get married, these two star-crossed lovers. And a day later, everyone balanced and walked on eggshells around him. Told her to give him space to get over it. To give him the time he needs to get over the pain.

But her? She was barely staying afloat. There was a storm in her mind that raged across the oceans and vanished sanity. She had lost her weathering rock of the storm and she knew not how to balance, not how to float, but only to stare at the horizon and cry.

She wished the pain would end, that it was an elaborate joke that she would eventually get over. He asked her to trust him, to trust his words. But when the words tore up her very being and singed the fibers of her mind, she refused to trust him. She had relied on him for almost a decade, almost ten years of love and then nothing.

Friends stepped forwards, offered their help. None stayed long enough to assist her. She lost her way in the fireworks of pain, she lost her way in the hurricane and no one stretched their hand out to help her stay afloat. No one would bring their boat out and try their hardest. There was one, one who used to float alongside her, one who weathered the storms and breathed in the fury, sadness, and anger she offered. But instead she was alone, she was trying to stay afloat.

She didn't know who she was and who she knew. She knew him when she was younger, when she was soft and malleable, when her mind was fresh from heartbreak and pain. She didn't know who she was and where she was meant to go, where the children's name they wrote down together went, where the photos had to be stashed. She didn't know where the put the memories because her mind was a storm. Her mind was a hurricane and there was no longer a life-raft.

She didn't know how to stay afloat.