Abandoned

I was so used to your presence and just like that you disappeared

Leaving me wondering where I went wrong.

You were supposed to be the one I turned to when nothing was going right. But when things got tough you weaselled your way out of my life and never looked back, leaving me broken and confused.

I spent a tremendous amount time trying to recover yet I always come back to the same thing "if my mother can't love me how can I love myself?"

Day after day I look at myself and find things that remind me of you, questioning whether I should love or hate that part of myself.

I remember the stories you told me about skipping meals in order to feed me but then you contradict it with your current absence.

I have so many questions for you; Did you even love me? Where did you go? Why did you go? What happened to "I'm here, I love you."

The day I saw you at the mall you didn't even bother to look at me. You passed by me as if I was a stranger.

Now, as far as I'm concerned you died a long time ago.