A Short Disclaimer

How can I tell you

That everyone that came before consistently let me down.

How can I explain to you

That I've come to expect disappointment.

How can I express

How hard it is to believe that anyone could care about me as much as I do for them.

How can I spell it out for you

That I truly believe that no one person would be willing to do what I was willing to do for them.

I've been trained by the past.

To assume the worst of people.

Even if they love me.

So I say "It's okay," "It's alright," "No no you don't have to do that," "You don't have to come," "You don't have to say that."

But the truth is I want nothing more than for you to do that, to come, to say that, and it is not alright, it's not okay.

I cannot say this because I feel it is unfair, unrealistic, impossible to expect such things from people no matter who they are to me.

But I still go above and beyond for those I love, I still give too much only to get less back.

So maybe it's my fault.

So I'm not sure what to do or say except silently hope and pray that you will prove me wrong, exceed my expectations, and surprise me.

Only if you're truly capable of doing so.

This is not a criticism

This is a disclaimer

A voicing of caution as you embark on this friendship to me

Notifying you of the damaged soul you’ve chosen to cling to and what that entails