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i feel my chest caving in and my heart bleeding
tired limbs reaching out for the love they aren’t receiving
i think i’m lonely again
thinking about forgotten friends
and in the darkest mornings and the brightest nights
i find myself searching for a new way to fight
do i build a path with my bones?
or tear down this already broken home?
if i could write a place where everything was new i would
if i could write about what having your breath is like i would
if i could write about feeling pretty i would
if i could write about holding your hand i would
i think i’m starting to crack
it starts in my skull and moves down my back
i crave warm blood dripping down my cold and aching skin
puddles on the tiled ground
tired eyes barely seeing
and fragile chests barely heaving
up and down
down and up
it soaks into my hair
stains my fairytales
there’s poison in the sugar
lined around my lips
i need life breathed back into me
from the beginning
grass stains on my soft knees
laughter and the color pink
how quickly it turns to a bloody red
how quickly her heart accepted the dread
how quickly i fell to the floor
how quickly my mother unlocked the door
and now we’re in a special place
where the devil laughs at the blood on my face
would you bleed for me like i did for you?
rip it out your skin?
tear it out your heart?
the veins grow back but not without scars
white against my flesh
violent and forever
i feel an earthquake in my chest
it’ll break me open again
all my ghosts and demons and angels
feeling the earth for the very first time
will they leave me?
they’re stuck to my soul
pouring nightmares in my eyes
and tearing dreams apart
i used to be the savior
i used to believe in love
now i rot in a field of broken words
trying to stand up
but my bones are gone