A Piece of Me (Part II)

Passive Enemies

I'm screaming my vengeance.

For all the missed mentions.

I'm starting my engines.

I'm stirring the tensions.

There was no prevention.

All based on suspension.

I've got your attention.

Don't twist my intention.

Through your misconception.

The greater confessions.

The much worse deceptions.

Left lasting impressions.

No need to demonstrate.

What can't compensate.

No form of prorate.

Just listen, annotate.

Mine to obligate.

You chose to evacuate.

Let my mind navigate.

Allow soul to meditate.

I let you infiltrate.

I let you formulate.

Gave me you to educate.

You went to duplicate.

Your plan to dominate.

Bad blood will circulate.

Learn to re-evaluate.

You should carefully contemplate.

I accepted all your personal antics.

I entertained all your like-minded fanatics.

I supported your thought out old tactics.

I reasoned with your vented dramatics.

I carried you through all your panics.

We were always on the same dynamic.

Now the energy is no longer automatic.

I'll spare you the memories too graphic.

Your behavior is just a habit of a classic.

In the end there's no loss just no mending.

I will never be a character of pretending.

There's no revenge or dark doom impending.

I don't mind if my words were offending.

You needed the truth of this inevitable ending.

Your actions I will not be defending.

I'm sorry this isn't your time worth spending.

I don't hate you, but your funeral I won't be attending.

Can You?

I fathom a thousand depths of something I fail to properly express.

Dying to die for the meaning that my soul can't resist and possess.

Yet is less really more or is less just less?

God guide me through this thing called the healing process.

Is success really success or is success your success?

Can't success just be as simple as the slightest progress?

Can't someone be proud of me? Or do I have to flex to impress?

Man, I'm trying... trying in so much distress.

You thought that right decision was on purpose but did you know I just guessed?

Do you even know how hard it is to try and see the good in the things given unblessed?

But God forbid I ever speak on anything that's ever been oppressed.

Cause it's all about positive thinking like everyone's just so obsessed.

There's a fine line between positive thinking and being in denial so let's just reassess.

Sometimes there's just an elephant in the room that everyone avoids to address.

Cause depression, anxiety, or any mental illness is just too much of a mess.

When really all most of anyone wants is the slightest compassion, if not, at least kindness.

But let's use that one excuse right? The "Oh but we're humans"... yes we are nonetheless.

Yet that doesn't give us an excuse to not love because human life is priceless.

You can't put a tag on the mind, the body, or the soul and that's something I will always stress.

And before I leave a bit of my heart here on this paper for you to access.

All I ask is that you open your heart to love without any expectations... without "unless."

Anxiety

What it feels like to be diagnosed with anxiety.

In a world full of judgment with a dystopian society.

It exposes itself in various forms.

It inhabits itself in your internal storms.

Even on the greatest of days, for no reason it lingers.

My heart will pound sending adrenaline to my fingers.

My chest will rage with a burning sensation.

Then the flare proceeds throughout my whole body, a constant migration.

My muscles weaken yet become nothing but restless.

My throat tightens, nostrils seem smaller, and then I am breathless.

The pain is unbearable and I begin to uncontrollably shake.

I become exhausted but won't rest and remain unwillingly awake.

In public, I am controlled with the feeling composed and masked.

Most will never comprehend that those with anxiety never asked.

We never asked to have this burden that would cause every day adversity.

So many things in this world are accepted but it's apparent this is one harsh diversity.

It's extraordinarily difficult to experience this body's state.

It's similar to sleep paralysis and all I can do is cope and wait.

Then when it dies down I can finally lay my head.

Along with depression, I can't even decide which one I'd rather have instead.