A Nobody's Someone // Poetry by Some Dumb Teenager

Before Word:

Hello. Before you read these, I would like to give a little back story to why I even wrote these poems. I, in the deepest and darkest of depressions, wrote. I don't write poetry, and I never have. Possibly people who read poetry often might be able to tell, but I did. I write fantasy novels, and go to high school. These poems have a lot of things I think about, and yes to many, this is inappropriate. And yes, I agree. It is. But it is my honest thoughts. To few, this will disgust them, and to them I say, STOP READING. I literally cannot emphasize this enough. Anyways, I have always enjoyed writing, and I always hoped to make money doing this, but I don't want you to give me money out of sympathy. I appreciate it, but also, don't do it if you don't enjoy it.

More about myself: I live in Vegas, and I don't enjoy it. I write on several different platforms, none of which pay me LMFAO! But I thought I'd give this a shot. I like reading fan fiction, like most girls my age, but I don't mind a little horror every now and then. One day, I hope to do something great in this world. AnYwAys, this is getting too long. I really hope you enjoy all fifteen poems.

so, enjoy.

Rusty by A Nobodies Someone

my fingers burn whenever i touch you boy

And regrettably i crave it more

My fingers are bleeding velvet blood now

& why do i taste it , i wonder.

Oh because, Good Ole' Rusty

I like the taste of you

And now they call me Metal Mouth.

Rusty ERotica

//End Of Poem One//

Luke Warm Secret by A Nobodies Someone

i remember how my skin

burned like a campfire and

how your skin melted with mine in a-

rushed heat

my lips burned with regret, the more i cried for ownership-

the more i craved your danger ; the more i realized you craved heat

i was forbidden fruit, and i

gracefully let you eat me

in hopes you

whisper my name ; embers

Lani, Lani, Lani

he says tongue tied with my own ; tied

together like a dog in heat

It's like he knew I was some sort of precious orchid

& how he made it moist

and how he

manipulated my flower against me ; over fed {sun flower}

something about the way he whispers to my blanketed body,

and kissed my sun burned bare skin

i just knew i was His...

secret.

//End of Poem Two//

An Angry Sex Slave by A Nobodies Someone

touch me you bastard

teach me my limits and make my mental pain a memory to compare to ;

my physical psychosis.

remind me how much of a nobody i am to my mirror and scream to me

the things I scream to myself ; physical psychosis.

and then afterwards we will cuddle each other like throw pillows, and I want you to whisper why I matter

Solidarity.

thank you wind & night crawlers

for shining morning light on my

fucking disaster of a twilight trilogy

Masturbation ; my psychical psychosis.

//End of Poem Three//

Read Me To My Death by A Nobodies Someone

Books are made for others

Authors who pour their souls out

Some of them

Overwrite their stories

Till they die

Read me my book of Nothing;

in memoriam

Just before you pull the trigger

i ask to die in my sleep

Not on the kitchen floor

So a rag over my nose & send me to bed

Just to blow my stories out with a bullet

While i sleep

My name was Charlie

& i die everyday .

//End of Poem Four//

Anxious by A Nobodies Someone

i scratched my nails lightly on the desk top,

RUCK, RUCK, RUCK.

The clock ticked, just when i squinted my eyes closed & i hastily

took in a cold fronted breath

Shut up! i beg them,

but they keep on screaming

Anxiety.

no, without him, no. they said.

//End Of Poem Five//

Careful by A Nobodies Someone

A quiet killer, is an insightful one, i thought

but i miscalculated my next move

i left my soul at home

none to yell curses

and dark matter

so i feel guilt,

i am guilty

guilt

what is confidence

without soul

It is different when i have no choice,

when they yell and scream

klepto

killer

to steal a life.

my soul was filled with heathens

misplaced karma, i guess.

i'll be careful the next time,

i plan on slitting your throat.

// End Of Poem Six//

Bloody Mary by A Nobodies Someone

i ordered a bloody mary at a bar once

sat down in the bar stool

and some dude sat by

brown chocolate eyes to match his dark chocolate skin

i licked my lips and sipped lightly,

when he asked, what's your name?

it's Nobody, i joked

no it's charlie,

charlie aye? he bit into a vodka coated olive.

he lit a cigarette after we finished drinking our drinks,

and asked, where'd you get a name like that?

my grandmother.

but i didn't say that. I asked, what significance does it hold to you?

Because, i'd like to know your name the next time we meet,

he handed me a business card,

smooth operator. He still didn't answer my question.

Oh and your answer, you can have the next time we meet.

Oh fuck i'm falling in love again.

//End Of Poem Seven//

A Nobodies Someone by Charlie

Date five, I begin to feel like myself,

several meetups, several mental notes later, I felt like Charlie.

I can capitalize my I's now, and they can't take him away from me.

He is willingly mine now, he says.

Do I let my guard down? Do I submit?

All of these tuckered questions, I'm exhausted

but he gives me light, harness me the sun, I beg.

He laughed at me, big tall teeth, who knew how long we'd last?

I just closed my eyes, and shared a secret under-the-stairs-and-stars kiss.

A nobody was now his someone.

//End Of Poem Eight//

Moon & Sun by Charlie

He yelled at me today, just for a few seconds

chasing after me, but I only listened to the stars,

and just when I had the chance to speak, he had left to China

Left in the states, I waited, shining above the people like nothing was wrong, a red moon soon, I told them.

He was slowly coming back, and I said, you can't keep leaving me here

its dark - he still managed to shine on

and left me for china again,

damn it.

Once a year he says, before his last ray kissed my face, we will be together again.

damn I can't wait for the next eclipse.

//End Of Poem Nine//

The Moon by Charlie

The moon kissed everyone in the most vulnerable of times,

she was the most slept on of the moons.

she felt irrelevant, talk among the planets of many.

How many moons were with the sun,

she wonders ; but she closes her eyes, and continues on.

The sun promised to come back in the day, but she laid cold and alone

in the night.

Her dark skin, shines for you, and you only ;

but the stars didn't need to know that.

//End Of Poem Ten//

The Sun by Charlie

Flat earth, round earth

the sun was necessary,

ethereal, was there when the moon ate cereal.

Hugged the moon so tight, the moon was no more to earth.

the moon was not in Sunday school drawings,

but the sun didn't care, it just ray-ed on.

//End Of Poem Eleven//

Weak by A Nobodies Anyone

My knees wobbled, my joints ache,

heart break, to my sins wait.

My cheeks burned, so did my ribs,

when I say I didn't think this would happen

if I had told a fib.

The sun lied,

and never once,

did I think the sun,

would make the moon,

go blind.

Mother let me live here,

Mother let me see that the sun

was just a man with a tame beard.

Vindictive, but so fucking addictive,

my heart made normalcy restrictive.

I'm sorry, but I can't go on

//End Of Poem Twelve//

Sick by A Nobodies Anyone

No one looks, no one sees

no one checks, she will bleed.

She locks her door, lays on the floor,

and cries, begging God, she was never bore.

She had no day, and no night,

to her reality, she was losing sight.

She was an idiot, she knew for sure,

she to him, was some stupid whore.

She hated to say this, but god was it true,

she knew this would happen, and her eyes lost their golden hue.

She cried so hard, she threw up everywhere, and she knew she was sick

because she hoped she choked, so she wouldn't have to be anywhere.

//End Of Poem Thirteen//

Who Am I?

no one special, the mirror stabbed her fists,

her hand was bleeding something rosy red,

and she knew this made her human.

I am nothing.

so she tried to rid herself of all of this liquid,

with some ninety nine cent razor blade,

and closed her eyes,

and now she was nothing.

// End Of Poem Fourteen//

I woke up dead by Charlie's Angel

I am not poetry, I am human, and no i'm not some

sexualized television detective, I am dead.

I woke up somewhere fluffy, and light,

but no this wasn't heaven. I was here to learn again.

I did something wrong I guess, something I did on earth,

some big ass mess.

I had did so many things right, It told me, but one thing wrong ;

I had forgotten life was some dumb song. All my life, I had gave nothing meaning, and glorified love from the beginning.

They said I had forgot something I was supposed to feel in my spleen,

that how can you love someone, without loving me.

//End Of Poem Fifteen//

After Word:

Hi again LMFAO. I really hope you enjoyed, and that anyone reads this at all. I'm not going to go into depth, but Charlie as a character was a embodiment of me, and hopefully you feel closer to, me. I know this isn't like perfect, and it isn't intended to be, but I suggest that if your mind is dark, or blinded by love of any sorts, please - write. it. down.

It helps. It really does. If you are considering suicide, please consult medical professionals, or family.

You could also call these numbers ;

1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-784-2433

1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-273-8255

For me, I have had very suicidal tendencies for a while, and attempted a few times. Probably really rough thing to think about, now. But I do think about it. But I found my ways to cope through it, to live on, to give life its own stupid meaning. Writing is my go-to, always has been. I've always excelled in writing. And, I found all of these poems from around my suicidal times. They helped, I think. Like a lot. So I really suggest finding what makes you happy.

I doubt any of these poems even made sense, but if you'd like to know more, then feel free to tweet me @curlyheadedig on twitter. I'd love to chat :)

ANYWAYYYYS, thank you so much for reading! Have a good day & life.

Look out for more of my writing :)