A New Beginning with My Rotten Pieces

You can’t hear them, can you?

No reason you should, perhaps I can’t either

Perhaps my eyes cannot even see the

Beings that exist in the twists of my mind

And when searching my psyche? A delusion you’ll find

Perhaps

But forgive my vagueness in this matter

Whether real or imagined and it’s likely the latter

The fact is these creatures are alive to me

Is creature the right term? Hmm, we’ll see

In short they are bits of my insides, my flesh

Forcefully torn from their visceral mesh

I began to feel them during moments of woe

The first time it happened seems not so long ago

Do you know that feeling when something goes wrong?

Shaking you up so it’s hard to be strong

People cope differently, some cry and some shout

Some try to move on, some simply freak out

As sour feelings had taken deep root

My only urge was to give them the boot

Rot blossoming within? That I couldn’t endure

I thought moving on would be best and mature

The place where they curdled, congealed and coalesced

Was snip snipped off at my heart’s behest

A scrap of gore to be tossed on the ground

No matter how it cried, I never turned around

Oh how it cried…

With the rot forgot I thought myself clear

Of the harrowing heartache that had come so near

Little did I notice my spiral path

As sorrow and pain did inflict their wrath

A new start shattered, another part of me putrid

Holding back tears seemed a solution lucid

Again I hacked it off, more violent each time

The blood and pus creating a morbid shine

Twice, thrice, four times and more

Spread out by time before gathering at my door

No mouths and they scream, no eyes and they weep

I ignored, denied them, until the night I didn’t sleep

It felt like my bones had been boiled down to jelly

My defences torn down, I cried finally

They gathered about, tears echoing my own

Surrounded by my pieces and utterly alone

I felt… tired

Tired and listless, my pieces kept close

How tempting to nest within this morose

Cocoon all encased by each decaying shred

More appealing even than my own bed

A poisonous yet desirable thought

But instead of indulging, I stood and fought

Back against the lethargy yanking me down

Turned my gaze to my pieces still wearing a frown

You can’t hear them, only my mind can

But I can be heard so with that I ran

Sometimes I still cried, mostly I spoke

Driven by determination which had awoke

The more I expressed what lingered inside

My pieces calmed down, they lessened their cries

Each fester not repressed but given chance to heal

While love and support had increased my zeal

And now?

Now…

Now there are times when they still cry

When away from myself I wish they would pry

I don’t abandon or ignore each piece old and new

It’s hard, yes, but I push us all through

My mistake was restarting without my damage

Fixing it is hard but this way hope can manage

To come through, so now if I begin again

My rotten pieces come with me, whether one or two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine… ten