A Manic Revival

I’m my own worst enemy,

Because I don’t speak my mind.

All the years of being devalued as a person.

I guess the words that were said,

Stuck in my head.

It’s ironic in a sense.

I see great things for myself.

Yet I get in my own way.

Or

Let myself become distracted.

Whether it be by a 9-5.

Or a connection to another.

My heart burns with dreams and desire.

To grow with another.

But I’m not in the right place to do it. (Yet)

I need to think,

I need to Reevaluate, everything in my life.

I need to accomplish my vision for life and walk the path that I choose.

Ironically I’m the only one taking the path so I have no prints to follow.

I need to figure out.

What and Whom to hold dear.

I need to evaluate myself,

From a different perspective.

Rebuild my skin.

Cleanse my mind.

Because honestly,

As I look I back at myself I can see my flaws,

I’m too sensitive.

So I stay silent to avoid confrontation.

I’m my own judge, jury, and executioner.

I’m too hard on myself.

(I just want to be great)

I lack confidence in myself.

That's the god honest truth.

So from here on out.

I’m on a search for myself.

I'll search for my voice.

I’ll search for my growth.

So when my destiny comes.

I can handle it all.

A third eye is open is full to the limit.

Of all the potentials,

I’m pushing out the negatives.

Letting in the positives.

This is Manic.

My emotions are jumping all over the spectrums,

Of emotions and thought.

Love me,

But I.

I fear being judged,

I fear being rejected,

and

Abandoned.

I hate to say it.

So my fears and anxieties control me.

Sometimes even envy.

This is an ending.

But also a new beginning.

A new chapter in my life.

I’ll call this my revelation.

So now I’m pursuing,

My destiny.

I know now I need to live up,

To those goals and expectations.

I set for myself when I was a kid.

1…2….3…Clear!

This is the revival

Of

My passion,

My dedication.

But most of all.

A revival of a promise I made to myself.

For myself.

To succeed, in my dreams.

To know what it’s like to never have to worry.

About food in my belly.

Or a roof over my head.

I’ll never quit this journey,

Because it’ll lead to my destiny.

Because it’s simple.

I believe in me.

This has been a manic revival.