You’ve ice-kissed the magical outdoors of Summer, passing arctic winds from your lips to hers, killing anything that thrived. Luminous plants no longer flourish, the large and brilliantly blue waters no longer dance from the wind, but instead, rest trapped beneath a blanket of glacier. True, your presence is only welcomed for a few months, but for that short time, you cause more damage than good. And for that reason, I declare my independence from you.
You’ve forced me to hide away until Summer’s breath unthaws your ungodly mess of slush and ice.
You’ve weakened my immune system, numbed my personality, and darkened my mood, while simultaneously paling my skin. I declare my independence from you and your bitter cold heart and dreary mood because I want to experience the endlessly bright nights that summer offers, while feeling the sun shine within my soul.
My ideal relationship with you, Winter, would include eliminating the brutal winter season. Sure, you can cool down summer’s air with a minimum temperature of about thirty, but the below zero temperatures and the piercing winds are unnecessary. In addition to riding the bitter cold air, I wish for longer lasting nights and brighter mornings. The sun setting before 5 PM does not please me. You don’t have to stay awake until 9 PM like Summer does, but I feel like 7 PM would be a reasonable compromise. And finally, Summer’s stay is much shorter than yours, but I wish for your presence to be shortened, and Summers extended.
To prove my suffering to you, here is a list of my grievances.
- You force me to start my car early
- Commuting in the winter is impossible and slow
- I have to wear layers upon layers
- I hate my winter wardrobe
- There’s a lack of activities I can participate in
- I cannot shower in the morning and go outside
- My hands are dry and cracked from the bitter winds
- I’m always cold
- It’s dark by 5 PM
- My skin becomes a pale yellow for 4+ months
As a Wisconsinite, I have attempted to put up with your brisk temperatures by bundling up in multiple layers, I’ve set my alarm earlier in order to have enough time to blow dry my hair to prevent it from stiffening, I’ve ran outside in my slippers to start my car so the sheet of ice defrosted by the time I needed to leave, I’ve prevented sliding all over the icy roads by reducing my speed, and I’ve allowed you to put a damper on my mood for about four months. Each winter season, you seem to become more and more cold-hearted, trying to get more miserable souls on your side. I’ve attempted to deal with you, but I’ve realized that even though I can tolerate you, you are toxic to my health, so I declare my independence from you.
I know you cannot help the way you are. You cannot control the unpredicted blizzards, followed by freezing ice. You can’t slow down the harsh winds, nor can you brighten the sky any later than 5 PM because by the end of the day, your own coldness has exhausted you. I’ve tried to compromise with you, but I can no longer handle such crazy weather.
You’ve made me a tougher person. Because of you, I can tolerate cooler temperatures more than anyone in the country, and I’ve become pretty skilled at driving on your icy roads. However, it’s time I end this toxic relationship, and declare my independence from you, Winter.