A Girl and Her Bengal Cat on a Rollercoaster

Taking a deep breath, I embark on a journey to follow my dreams, with Max the bengal cat as my witness. Here it begins: writing about rollercoasters while riding and emotional one. Bringing people the wisdom I have, and will continue to acquire, from the darkest and more euphoric states of mind.

“Keep all hands and feet inside the coaster” I have been told and will extend that practical advice to “make sure to hold on to your seatbelt and values.” I want to leverage my intense emotions to understand life and spread the light, like a candle—where my light shines brighter when I help light another candle. My dream is to change the world through compassion and understanding of different states of mind. Because.....

You see you see,

Bipolarity its in me.

This abnormality

Will allow me to change the world!

Not linearly -

Exponentially,

Not chronologically,

I’m here to change society.

So yeah, I put it out there, I am cRaZy! Diagnosed and confirmed and accepted: Bipolar I. (Side note: Took me 10 years to be able to write that sentence and mean it) I accept my diagnosis and I know that it has set me free. I am cRaZy, my ideas are cRaZy, my actions...cRaZy. I love it because I have empowered myself to accept this and leverage it to improve the collective consciousness. This is because...

“Normal” people don’t understand

That mental illness in society expands

Our whole consciousness –

Helping problem solving reconnaissance!

You see,

Emotions are my domain…

I have felt the darkest pain…

But from this, there was gain.

It’s August 3rd, 2009,

Yeah, I am out of my mind.

Scared,

I find a the kind of hell

You cannot foretell.

A kind of pain

That leaves a stain

On your calendar day:

One year.

Two year.

Three year…. Four

Did pretty well, I couldn’t get past that score!

It’s July 3rd 2014.

When I became “un-freed” by authorities

Because of the need for society

To label me

And predict my density.

I sang, yes I SHOUTED….but my screams were never heard.

It was 16 days, 16 nights; my name: stigmatized

My mind: compromised.

My privacy: nullified.

Was told I was “gravely disabled”

Sitting in an ER hallway 9 hours…

I wish this was a fable.

Don’t worry, now a days I’m stable….

I understand that life is like a cycle for me,

Mother Nature’s destiny

They call it Bipolar I in formality,

Unable to understand the dichotomy –

Up, Down,

Smile, Frown

I am bound

For greatness, LOOK AROUND.

“Crazy” is in,

Stop thinking it’s a sin.

It’s a revolution in evolution

And should not force us to create a societal occlusion.

Realize that normal is the enemy of creation,

When looking for a new solution,

We want that evolutionary mutation.

The idea that changes everyone’s fixation…

I have realized that mistakes are beneficial,

They look like failures

But REEK of potential…

Learning curves and mishaps are essential…

For breaking out of the conventional.

This is because: “misguided” neural pathways, allow us create…

The word “Illness” denotes hate,

Rather, let’s embrace the face of ‘disgrace’

Let’s make mental stigma an enigma.

Let’s empower those who with this evolutionary super-power

You see,

Emotions are my domain…

I have felt the darkest pain…

But from this, there is gain.

I basked in chaos and found a unique perspective,

From this, I will continue to help the collective.

Taking medication daily, seeing doctors and therapists, eating healthy, working out : Just some of the decisions I have made (and unmade and made again) when I committed to stability (and struggled with consistency). I have struggled throughout the last 10 years of my diagnosis...But I meow know it will be ok.

It will be better than ok because I have decided to make it that way. I commit to my personal legacy daily and will not let a diagnosis taint my trajectory to greatness.

My mental evolution has just begun.

#mentalevolution

While my diagnosis is part of me, I am not on here to talk about mental illness, but instead to talk about mental evolution and the collective consciousness—about how we can use mental abnormalities to help us survive as a whole.

Trained as a Chemist, I operate under evolutionary concepts. I see mental illness as a “mistake” in nature; which excites the evolutionist that I am. That’s because evolution is based on mistakes. Think about this: on a gene/DNA level, evolution happens when your DNA replication machinery (enzymes) make a mistake and that mistake helps you survive. Why not treat all of our mistakes like this?—Use them to make us better.

The beauty of mental evolution is that you have to realize that every neural mistake (“cRaZy” thought process), is an opportunity for novel creation, i.e. the creation of an idea. This is so powerful because an idea in the collective consciousness can lead to revolutionary results/impact. An idea can evolve our society and let's use our abnormalities to make this be such.

Let’s use cRaZy in a cRaZy good way—to evolve ourselves and our society. #thatswhatmentalevolutionis #imeowknowitwillbeok #letmeknowwhatyouthink

#dreamsstarttoday