A Father's Eclipse

Dads aren't supposed to leave you home alone while they go out and get drunk off of women with low-esteem and high-frequency alcohol.

Dads aren't supposed to treat you like you're the dust beneath the creaking floorboards, and leave you feeling like a crumpled piece of paper.

Dads aren't supposed to throw away your lungs and exchange it for musky basements and cigarette smoke.

Dads aren't supposed to kick and shove when you fuck up. You're seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

Dads aren't supposed to talk you into staying the night with temporary girlfriends that teach you how to inhale smoke and exhale misunderstandings and stress.

Dads aren't supposed to ignore you until 10 pm, when he finally fixes dinner, or force you to stay up and watch horror movies with them, just for a laugh and a cynical punch in the gut.

Dads aren't supposed to make you want to die or take their garden scissors and dissect your veins until you're numb.

Dads aren't supposed to force your emotions 6-feet-under and shred your interests in their cold, inked office.

Dads aren't supposed to favor a gender over another, and prove their opinion to you outside when it's sunny but utterly broken.

Dads aren't supposed to only accept you when you receive a good grade on your test because your mistake of a brother started selling dope when he was a freshman in high school.

Dads aren't supposed to be unstable when they drink an 18-pack and smoke a gram beside their little girl.

Dads aren't supposed to scare you into oblivion when you walk out of the bathroom when you're already doused in pain and suffering.

Dads aren't supposed to have a plastic cup of remorse in the front seat while he swerves and jolts and batters and steers down the road.

Dads aren't supposed to want to see you cry while your brother is getting beaten in the back room.

Dads aren't supposed to paint over thoughts that decay inside you just because they don't feel like dealing with it.

Dads aren't supposed to force you to believe that love is to hurt and get hurt.