A Difficult Choice of Words

My anxiety is like a crow. Every where you go, it's sure to follow. Its dark feather so sleek and glossy, reflects back the fears that cloud my eyes. As I walk, I see it at the corner of my eye watching me. The moment it sees something wrong, it will go off. The ringing of its cries deafen me, sending me into a state of paralysis. Not able to move, to think, to speak. Its cries bound me to the ground, letting me hold myself together while rocking back and forth to escape its awful alarm. It blinds me as the cloud of fear thickens and strips me of my sight, unable to see the way. Its call deafens me leaving me unable to think, so I am left defenseless against the menacing crow.

My depression is like a reaper, waiting for the right time to take me from the earth and into a life of unknown. It stalks me day and night hanging down like leaves of a willow tree. It keeps me awake at night knowing that the dark shall consume me, and it shall not lose to the dark shadowy night. It hates seeing me alone, so it sends little friends to keep me company. I consider them close friends of mine. They tell me what I'm doing wrong, and they make me correct it, if I do not, they will hurt me. I do not want them to hurt me, so I do as they say. I trust them, because you should always trust the voices in your head, they are your friends. As time passes, I see Depression sitting there smiling sadistically at me, tapping on its clock, reminding me of how much time I have left.

Everyday as I lay in my bed, I play back the memories of which I am unable to change, yet they are as everlasting as the as the shadows of which will never cease to exist. No matter where you turn your shadows are right behind you, watching every step you make. Even in the light, it is still there. It haunts you in the day and as night falls it slowly fades away, blending into the night which will inevitably consume you. As I close my eyes I can feel the pain in my shoulders push deeper and deeper into me until I realize that I'm suffocating from the darkness. As I lay there, unable to move, think, or breathe, I see my life flash in my eyes. I can see Anxiety sadly walk by my side, dragging its feet just like how I drag myself into the world of which I am forever trapped in. I see Depression smiling sadistically, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce as if a cat preying. It's preparing for its attack as my slow end comes closer. As my vision darkens I let one tear escape my eye, the tear of which holds all my pain and sorrow, I let it slip away as I fall deeper into the darkness. I let that tear fall, feeling the weight lift off me as I near my end. Then, it stops. Everything is still and quiet. Suddenly I hear the voices, whispering, yet it is unintelligible to understand. It gets louder, and louder, and louder... it is screaming. Then, silence.

I opened my eyes... only to see the dawn's ray taunt me. Yet, another day has passed. Time to greet my friends once again. This is what it's like, living a life of mine. This is what it's like...