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18

Free Verse

By E.A. ForsterPublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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months before turning 18, it was all I thought about.

coming of age

there's so many things that it meant, so many things I could do.

move out, go to college, get a tattoo, even buy a fish

it felt like it should have been a huge deal. I should have felt like the adult I know I was. I felt no different.

but eighteen meant so many things, it meant I could start becoming who I know I am, it meant I could have my name changed it meant

transitioning

I felt stuck in a loop of possibility and limitation.

I turned eighteen painting and watching The Office.

it was anticlimactic

the first thing I did with the power of my adulthood was buy cigarettes

a pack of Marlboros.

it was nostalgic, reminded me of the smell of my dad's Winstons and his old Volvo station wagon. it reminded me of hot and humid mosquito-filled summers at the park I lived by.

it's a bittersweet freedom. feeling like I can repeat his mistakes, starting with that pack.

it's been four months.

I have smoked two cigarettes.

it was anticlimactic

sad poetry
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About the Creator

E.A. Forster

A fan of literature and cinema, following civil rights and the LGBT+ community. History enthusiast, artist, writer, and journalist.

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