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Where Do You Find (Lost) Confidence?

A Personal Reflection

By Nicole OzmentPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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a silent night

Where Do You Find (Lost) Confidence?

I find it in the quiet.

I find it in "the still, small voice at the end of the day that says, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"

I find it in the winter.

In the scenery, the way the sky meets the snow.

I find it in all the days I've made it through so far.

I find it in the daily decisions I've made that have turned out just fine.

In all the times I've been home alone, and I haven't hurt myself and nothing drastic has happened.

I find it in the spring.

In the baby's breath and the daffodils and all the earth's gentle reminders that

"life goes on."

"the baby's breath and the daffodils"

I find it in familiar Scriptures.

I find it in the forest, and the meadow.

In the texture of trees and the hum of insects, the whisper of wind and the warmth of sunshine.

I find it in the hawk gliding overhead.

I find confidence just around the corner, and beneath my bed, and between the bulrushes, and in the crunch of the snow, and with the grass between my toes.

I find it anyplace my heart is quiet,

so that I can hear my own voice again,

reminding me of the strength that's been there

all along.

I find it in the sun that rises every morning and the stars that silently glow every night, regardless of what is going on in my world.

I find it in the goals that I've accomplished because I persevered-- quitting wasn't an option.

"the goals I've accomplished because I persevered"

I find it in the opportunities I've said "no" to, because they were not in my best interest.

I find it in the experiences I've said "yes" to, because I longed to try.

I find it in the people that I've stood up to and the relationships that I've ended.

I find it in the strangers I've greeted, in the solo I've sung, and in the personal stories I've shared to encourage another human being.

I find it in the glow of dreams yet unfulfilled, like moonbeams spilling over a waterfall.

I find it in the plans that didn't work out, because they tell me that life offers endless alternatives.

I find it in the scars that remind me of obstacles overcome and sicknesses survived.

"obstacles overcome and sicknesses survived"

I find it in the belief that there will always be a tomorrow.

I find it in hope.

I find it in creativity.

In the words that pour out of me like water and the shouts I can't hold back,

in the voice that I never truly lost,

only silenced for a time.

I find it in the peace that I can attain regardless of the wind howling around me, as well as the excitement I feel at the storm.

I find it in adventure.

"I find it in the daring"

In the wind at my sails, and the ground at my boots, and enough daring in my spirit to tantalize my senses with new experiences that remind me I'm alive.

I find it in the daring.

In "boldly going where no man has gone before."

I find it in the sunshiney, dusty scents of hay... timothy, alfalfa, meadow grass, horses, and leather.

"timothy, alfalfa, meadow grass, horses, and leather"

I find confidence in tired muscles.

I find it under the earth, in the dampness, among the cave crickets...

and on top of the world, looking down a rise I wasn't sure I'd climb.

I find it in the chaos that turns out all right,

the worries left unrealized.

I find it in the dreams that I have fulfilled, because I had the courage to go after them.

And they were every bit as challenging and amazing as I imagined.

I find it peeking out like the morning sun after an uncertain night.

I find it in all my ideas that turned out to be good ones.

I find it in poems read and books finished and sermons treasured.

In all the people that have poured into me "to believe in better things."

"to believe in better things"

I find it in the dances I have yet to learn, the fashions I have yet to exhibit, the wines I have yet to sip, and the love I have yet to get my fill of,

the love of being alive.

"the wines I have yet to sip"

I find it in my home.... In familiar cozy corners, in coffee rings on tables, in dusty barn lofts, in shadows of trees that were surely monsters, and in the cat purring on the back of the couch.

I find it in music that feed my soul and wiggles my toes and infiltrates my whole being.

In movies and stories and heartaches that move me to tears, because I have the heart to be moved at all.

I find it in the inspirations that show up unexpectedly on ordinary days and spark my soul to continue.

I find it in my heartbeat,

in the ability to

"be still."

I find it in my capacity to enjoy any work and do it well.

In the window washing and singing, in the friendly faces and counting change, in the lesson plans and lullabies and "love you too"s.

"lesson plans, lullabies, and 'love you too's"

I find it in the hard days, the "no longer want to live" days, that I've lived through nonetheless.

I find it in the privilege to continue.

I find confidence in expressing myself.

In the hand-sewn objects I have pieced together from raw materials,

in the tasty meals I have invented,

in the space I've filled with words where there was only silence.

I find it in embracing my aesthetic.

"I find it in embracing my aesthetic"

In ampersands and feathers and sage greens, in bicycle wheels and newsprint and vintage hats.

In dusty old record albums that scratch to life with the voices of crooners,

in antique shops and hidden among back aisles of peddlars' malls.

I find it in asserting my needs, expressing my knowledge, and quietly standing my ground.

I find it in the silence,

(I find it) in the sameness,

(I find it) in the seasons.

I find it nestled in the corner of my heart,

where it has been

waiting.

inspirationalnature poetry
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About the Creator

Nicole Ozment

I am a twenty-something Christian, college graduate, freelance writer, poet, and teacher who loves to write about whatever inspires me.

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