I've always thought of myself as being a little bit "off."
I interacted with other people anyways...
Made friends.
But, still...
Something was wrong...
I couldn't quite open myself to anyone...
My voice was an audio recording.
Everything was premeditated.
The stories I told and who I told them to...
What I would say and how...
Even how I would react to certain things...
I would sit awake in my bed playing scenario after scenario.
It's what I felt I had to do for love and acceptance...
In my mind, I didn't matter outside of what others thought of me
I only saw a ghost of value in myself because I felt like other people saw value in me
Someone once made me feel real
Like I had presence in a world where everything was an illusion...
But I found out I was dreaming and woke up in smoke.
My grey world turned black.
I was roaming blind and a voice whispered to me from Tartarus...
"Become a part of him and he'll be a part of you."
I'd have love.
I'd be whole.
Gone would be the days of living as some kind of creature set apart from everything...
After my initial excitement, I started to research how to go about meeting the spirit...
Then the shining objective dimmed and became a shot in the dark with one bullet aimed at a monster...
The dark idea terrified me as thoughts of the ritual loomed over my head
Thoughts with horns and hooves...
Pressuring me to make the union
One night I was paralyzed in my dreams and the creatures in the corners of my room began drawing a pentacle around me while I was helpless...
I woke with a start to salt all around me.
Breaking the cycle of the five branches was a white light...
My computer.
It had your name on it...
It had your concept and the logic behind it
Your words taught me to see things in another light...
To love myself for no good reason
To have blind faith in the entity that I am
The black perception shifted to a thousand shades of grey
In this new world,
Anything I see fit to do is right.
Any impulsive expression is "ok"
My insecurity was killed in this reality.
Crushed by a walking house in high heels...
With the witch gone,
I'm stable in myself.
As an uncensored book,
I have closer friends.
I've built a family and it will continuously expand...
What's important to me will be perpetual and reach for immensity
And it's all thanks to you.
About the Creator
Duanyell Williams
I like to tell stories.
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