Letter to My Former Bully

I never asked for you to hurt me.

I never asked for you to throw my name around like trash so that everyone knew that I was vulnerable to your words.

I never asked for you to seek me out in a sea of people to poke fun at my insecurities, prod at my faults , and damage my self-esteem.

I never asked for the words you used against me to leave invisible wounds and scars in my soul that can be reopened and start flowing , again.

"Fat."

"Stupid."

"Bitch."

"Whore."

"You will never succeed because you are too stupid to do anything great in your life because you are a walking failure."

"Fag"

"Pussy"

I never asked for the weeds of self-doubt that you planted in the garden of my brain that sprout erratically everyday.

I never asked for you to attack my personality, my appearance, my heart, my home life, my social life, my identity, self-esteem, my faith, and my dignity. You twisted, mangled and manipulated the perception of myself into something I hated to look at. Even the parts of me that were good and beautiful to me before are now seen as bad or ugly.

I never deserved what you did to me.

I didn't deserve it.

I. Did. Not. Deserve. It.

Now here I am, a couple of years out of high school and I still have a problem with self-esteem but I'm getting better. I'm getting stronger. I want you to know that. Not only do I want you to know that, but I want you to know I Forgive You. I also want you to know that I have hopes for you. I pray for you:

I pray that you have found peace.

I pray that you have found love in your heart and that you know that you are loved by so many people including, God.

I pray that you succeed in whatever endeavors you take on.

I pray that you love yourself and know your worth.

I pray that you find love. A love that makes your heart leap. I hope that you find the love that makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach ties in knots.

I pray that you get married and have an amazing life.

I pray that you find God

I pray you find abundant joy

I pray that you learn from mistakes because that's what they are. Mistakes.

I pray that you have found the ability to forgive yourself for the wrongs you have done and know that I am doing just fine.

Finally I want to thank you. Not for the pain, but for the lessons I learned. I learned that I am strong and that wounds will heal with time. I want to thank you for teaching me that I can be okay with my past and move on. I want to thank you for teaching me that I need to guard my heart. Lastly, I want to thank you for teaching me how to forgive you and that I will choose love over hurt.

Signed,

Your Former Victim

Side Note: I wanted to give a voice to people who have gone through bullying. I have been bullied for a long time. I know that not everyone went through what I did, but I wanted to get as close as I could to paint a picture of bullying. So many children, teens, and even adults go through bullying and this subject needs to be talked about. No one should be shamed or made to feel like it was their fault. If anyone who is reading this going through bullying, please find someone and talk to them. Find someone who will listen! I would be willing to talk to you even! Comment below and I will give you my email or phone number so I can listen and help!