Insomnia

I can't sleep. I won't sleep.

I refuse to sleep.

Because when I'm asleep,

they come out.

My demons. The memories, the thoughts

that I buried deep within.

Only during the dark, silent nights does my subconscious unleash.

Taking over me. All of me.

When does it end? How can I control this?

Is it above me?

I keep distractions all around me to lose focus of what's real.

I seek peace in temporaries. I avoid all truths.

But it's when I'm asleep that I no longer run away from it.

The truth finds me. Haunts me.

Grips me, chokes me 'til I'm gasping for consciousness.

When I shake awake, I playback the terrors,

reliving the horror.

My pounding pulse reminds me I'm alive.

The memories, the thoughts, they didn't kill me.

But they get closer to doing so.

Every time I'm asleep.