Different Tides

Last night I slept with you. I took a bath in your waters of passion, i swore you were good to me. your eyes below my waist I swear tonight will be one hell of a ride & though I know streams come and go with the only split residue lingering in between your lips reminding you that no matter how many flavors you've tasted, some how yours will remain my favorite.

I allowed myself to jump into your whirlpool, still expecting myself to pick myself up from the wreckage. Sometimes a sailors boat can't out live the storm. I understand that now.

Tonight I'm sleeping alone. with no problems of who will take the covers or if my snoring is too loud. maybe new reflections is what I truly seek and these waves of an internal something , is something I cannot devour for I have no idea of passion. I only lived through yours. I traveled to places no one's ever seen. changed locks, broke open locks, I made sure you seen a happiness greater than any ordinary. But, who am I? do I remain in the tides of your 2 am calling to see if I'm awake because your gentiles are awake. do i even matter to you? I don't think you can fathom how it feels to remain in a situation where your anchor is yourself. you are killing yourself .

I believe i want to love myself now. I drowned in your simple mindset of what love really is because if there is one thing I'll always take from Greys Anatomy Is that you do not destroy the people you love and tonight my dear I've realized that all your love did to me was erode away a girl who once saw sex as more than my smell on you and you opening up my taste buds, it felt more like sex when we were at movie theaters and you were afraid of what lives in the screen that you'd grasp onto me so tight that I sucked it up any ways despite the discoloring of my hand because you were my favorite shade.

I wanted this to be you.

But now as new tides form within my waters coming up to my shores with new ideas, a new love and internal beginning. I begin to be more than the branches that float on top, to be more than rocks that hit bumpy paths to only stumble upon other rocks who became too comfortable in the mud. please forgive me, but I pray you never see me stuck in the mud. not again.