Difference

I feel like my life is in shambles.

But I know that it's not.

I guess there's a difference

between feeling and knowing.

Let me demonstrate.

I feel like eating an entire burrito.

But I know that probably wouldn't be great.

Being that I'm gluten intolerant and allergic to dairy.

I feel like sports aren't really that important.

But I know that to some people,

sports save lives.

I feel like jazz is most likely the most superior form of music.

But I know that that is completely subjective.

Most of the time, I feel like my friends are tired of me.

But I know that they would most definitely say they always want me around.

I feel like throwing my fist into a wall.

But I know that like the burrito,

that probably wouldn't be good for my body.

Or the wall.

I'm a renter.

I feel your hands on me.

I feel the way your eyes looked at me.

Undressed me in one glance.

I feel your breath on my neck.

I feel the vibrations of your words in my earsaying,

"Can you feel me"

I feel the weight of a 200+ pound man over me.

I feel the loss of my dignity.

My agency.

My humanity.

I feel every ache and pain that I felt in that first moment

and each moment after.

I feel broken.

Split open.

Carved out.

Hollow.

I feel you.

But remember,

There's a difference.

Years have gone by.

And it's not.