Before I Leave

As she gaped at the blank paper in front of her, her brown orbs filled with tears. She pondered how to release the love aching in her core, hunting for the right words to apply to the paper.

She needed to write what she was feeling before she packed up her car, off to receive a higher education. She hated goodbyes, especially to someone she grew to love over the last two years, and had been best friends with since diapers. They both knew long distance couldn't work for them.

She knew she loved him with every ounce, but how could she convey those words to him? He gave her love, strength, and courage daily, but most of all he gave her...Hope. And with that word, the words that were once hard to convey became easy to release on the blank paper:

My love,

For you, I write this message,

I hope one day you find blissful love,

I hope you find unlimited happiness,

I hope your heart remains full of compassion and kindness,

I hope your beautiful soul continues to run free,

I hope you continue to make a difference,

For you,

I hope you have the most blissful life,

Times will get hard and things won’t always be easy,

But when you get those happy moments and things are good,

Hold on to it as tight as you can and cherish it,

For you, I hope the world sees what I see,

I hope they get to experience the greatness you are meant to be,

My darling, for you,

I hope a lifetime of a million wishes.

As she laid the pen that spilled her feelings, she read over everything she wrote, she beamed at the words on the paper. She then heard a faint knock on her bedroom door. She said almost above a whisper, "come in."

Her mother came into her room with a small side smile. "Are you almost ready, dear?" Her mother asked.

"In a minute I’ll be, I have a few more things I want to finish up in here." She told her mother, as she returned her attention back to her desk, gaping at another blank paper.

"OK, I’ll be waiting until you’re done." With that, her mother left the room, shutting the door quietly.

She began thinking to herself, reminiscing about everything that's led up to this moment. High school left her with a new and improved self. She hated how much she tried to please everyone she thought were her friends. She hated that she tried to be something she's not, but going off to college will be a fresh start.

She grabbed the pen again, writing herself a little reminder of how she became the person she knew she could be:

The hardest thing I had to do was find myself.

Trying to find a place for my soul to accept,

Tired of picking myself up from my lowest to get to my highest.

The hardest thing I had to do was find myself,

But I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t complete the challenge.

Every day becomes a little less hard and a lot more accepting,

Once I realized soul-searching is more about having a free soul,

And stop searching for a place for your soul to be caged.

Let your soul be free.

After finishing the last letter to herself, she felt a feeling of relief, a feeling of a new beginning. She believed that, in the end, things would work out for the better. She knew true love would win and long distance wouldn’t stop it. She knew she would find friends that will like her for the real her—no more pretending.

Off to new beginnings, she said to herself.